life is for the breathing

unbutton-my-wrists:

This is one of the most personal songs I’ve ever written. In my teen years, I weighed 260 pounds and have since lost almost 80 of those pounds. But I gained self image issues and depression. When one faces these things, it can be very hard to talk about it. So I wrote. I was diligent about writing an expressive song that was up to my own standards. I like to think I’ve succeeded.

Guys, I need your help here! If you like my music, then this is an opportunity to help me get the means to make more! Please reblog this post if you are a supporter!

unbutton-my-wrists:

This is one of the most personal songs I’ve ever written. In my teen years, I weighed 260 pounds and have since lost almost 80 of those pounds. But I gained self image issues and depression. When one faces these things, it can be very hard to talk about it. So I wrote. I was diligent about writing an expressive song that was up to my own standards. I like to think I’ve succeeded.

Guys, I need your help here! If you like my music, then this is an opportunity to help me get the means to make more!

unbutton-my-wrists:

All I ask is that you click this link and listen to this song.

This is my song. It’s called “Not There.” It’s about the emptiness that can drive you to the edge of existence and make you feel so hollow.

As a kid/teenager, I battled depression. I hated myself when I was little. I hated myself when I got older. Sometimes I still hate myself. But it’s a day to day battle. It’s something I live with.

More recently, I’ve been exercising to try and better my body. I have been in a relationship with my best friend for two years now and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I don’t want that to be any shorter than it has to be. I haven’t pushed myself until now and I’m not seeing the results I’d like to see.

I fear I am developing an eating disorder. I fear that I will not be able to control myself. I have had to force myself to eat some days. My boyfriend had to throw away our scale because I was obsessively weighing myself. Before and after I eat, use the restroom, exercise. Any opportunity, really.

This song is a self-analysis. It’s watching myself from afar. It’s about being there, but not in your body. This is about my life.

Please listen to it. If you like it, it’s free to download.

You can preview my song here, and if you like it, I’ll message you a link for a free download if you retweet me!